My 2-year-old threw up all over my shirt tonight. At a restaurant. Right after the food arrived. Anyone who has a 2-year-old, or has had a 2-year-old knows this is not surprising. What happened after that was.

Tonight, we visited a burger joint - Jax Burgers, Fries & Shakes in Magnolia, Texas – that is still pretty new and that we visit every few weeks. They have super awesome burgers, fries, and shakes (love when a restaurant lives up to its name), their owner is friendly and takes great pride in her work, and the place is defined by top notch service and cleanliness. And tonight, even without the owner, her employees demonstrated that this small business operates according to a consistent set of customer-focused values. Not corporate values – human values.

When my little one vomited all over me, restaurant employees not only mopped up, but then took a shirt off of the sale rack and gave it to me and wouldn’t let me pay for it, as much as I tried. This is the closest thing they could have done to giving me the shirt off their back.

Maybe this seems like the obvious thing to do, and it should be. But it is not what most businesses would do. Because at most places, employees would question whether they had the authority to do that, how they would account for it, whether that would raise questions in the mind of other customers… Here, there was no question. Their reaction was based on how they would want to be treated and how they would treat someone in their own home.

It reminded me of when I waited tables one summer in college. My first night on the job, I spilled four drinks at one time on a man who was having dinner with his wife and son. After apologizing profusely and nearly breaking down in tears, I worked up the courage to tell my manager, who resembled Ving Rhames. He said, “Come with me. I’ll show you how we handle this here.” We approached the table together and he told the man, “Sir, we are very sorry. This seldom happens, but when it does, we do everything we can to make it right. First and foremost, we will take care of your dry cleaning – we have a relationship with the place just a few doors down and you can tell them I sent you and it will be covered no charge, or if you prefer to go elsewhere, we’ll just give you cash to cover it. Second, your meal is on us tonight, and you may want us to box it up halfway through because you’ve got dessert coming too. Your next meal with us is covered too, but you have to ask for Petri. Wear your grubbies next time, and if he spills a drop on you next time, I’ll cover your meal every week for a year.”

That family came in every week – sometimes two or three times in a week – and asked for me every time. They were happier leaving our care that night than they were before I spilled the drinks on him. That was a huge lesson for me.

And now I want to find a way to repay the employees and owner at Jax. It’s sad that I was so heartened by their response. But that is the reality. And it will be rewarded by my loyalty and my sharing of this story every chance I get. It’s not just about their bountiful and tasty burgers, buffalo fries, and brilliant shakes. It’s so much more than that. Apparently they listen and actually respond to feedback in a meaningful way too, according to this H-Town Chow Down review.

The rise of social media has brought with it renewed calls for businesses to act like real people. To interact with people on a human level. To show that they care. To develop relationships between the brand and its stakeholders – supporters, employees, volunteers, customers, donors, and on and on. But many businesses – no, MOST businesses – still don’t get it. They don’t know how to act human. How to be human. And that is because they keep approaching it from a corporate brand level, when they should instead be empowering their employees, starting on the front lines, to just act like they would with someone they know.

Jax gets it. And they aren’t even active in social spaces.

My manager got it.

Do you and your employees get it?

I recently penned a guest blog post for Beth Kanter, one of the foremost experts on nonprofit marketing, online and offline, measurement, and social strategies. Below is a note from her that prefaces my guest blog post, and a snippet from my post, along with a link to the full piece.

Note from Beth: I’m working on the sequel to the Networked Nonprofit – it is a book about using measurement to prove and improve results with the Measurement Goddess KD Paine.  (Her  recent book, Measuring What Matters, is a must read.)

So, lately, I’ve been on the hunt for good nonprofit measurement stories.   Last week, I read Jocelyn Harmon’s post about Nonprofit Facebook Fail and in the comments, Petri Darby refers to the dramatic increase of visits to his nonprofit’s Make-A-Wish Foundation Web site.  He goes onto say how they are focusing their integrated strategy on a metric that matters:  conversions.

This resonated after reading KD Paine’s “Social Media Measurement Meets Sex in the City” that talks about the importance of tracking your strategy to understand how to get people to become life long supporters.    The goal is not exposure.

Petri’s post shares a few thoughts about how his organization is focusing on the relationships through connection, not just traffic.

Recently, we adopted a new vision for wish.org and our online channels, including social networks.  Our focus has shifted from transactional to connecting and engaging key constituencies over the long-term, and empowering them as brand ambassadors and advocates.

Read the rest of this guest blog post featured on Beth Kanter’s blog.

Several years ago, I handled marketing, PR, and business development coaching for a national B2B professional services company. After getting up to speed in the new role, an executive asked me to develop a marketing plan for a local office. I of course asked for the business plan.

I knew something was not quite right when he responded with “What?”

I clarified that I needed to understand the goals and objectives for the organization – in what areas there existed opportunities to grow and what metrics defined success – so I could base the marketing plan around that.

His response: “You’re a marketing guy. You don’t need a business plan. Just come up with a marketing plan.”

He opened a desk drawer and said, “You know what we really need? I was in a client’s office earlier and he had this cube on his desk that unfolds into different shapes and has lots of cool pictures on it. My eyes were drawn to it and I couldn’t stop playing with it. I think what we need is a cube like that. Can you get me a cube?”

So a bunch of people have visited your Facebook page. They clicked Like. Now you have a bunch of Facebook Fans. Maybe you’re even getting a bunch of new traffic to your website from Facebook. And now the questions are coming.

“Why aren’t we getting a lot more sales (or donations)?”

“What do we need to do to get our Facebook Fans to buy from us (or donate)?”

“What now?”

Fair questions, especially how conditioned we’ve become to chasing the short-term gains, approaching every channel as a direct-response revenue trigger, and lamenting every time an audience doesn’t open their wallet or purse – even after just the first interaction.

During these conversations, I harken back to business development coaching discussions I had with attorneys when I worked at a law firm several years ago. Here’s a conversation I had many times with different attorneys:

Attorney: “I went to that networking function, but I didn’t get any business!”

Me: “Did your wife agree to marry you the first time you talked to her? The first time you took her out on a date? Or after the second or third date?”

Successful business development, dating, and Facebook efforts all involve a courtship. For professional service providers – whether attorneys, management consultants, or public relations reps – the keys are to be perceived as competent, for the prospect to have a need, and to be top-of-mind when that happens. Being likable is helpful, since people like to do business with people they like, but not absolutely essential.

For other organizations, including nonprofits like the one I work for, the key is successful engagement that grows over time. Engagement (of the social, not nuptial, sort) starts with listening, responding, storytelling, entertainment. Multiple interactions on this level facilitate relationships. Relationships fostered over time build trust. And trust opens the door for support and action.

Think baby steps. Facebook Fans can be fickle. They may Like your status update, your photo, your video. They may even click a link to go to your website. But most of them are going just for that – and then moving on. They probably are Fans of a lot of different pages – a lot of different organizations. Their original intent on Facebook wasn’t to look for a reason to click through to your website. You gave them that reason. Good for you. Now you need to make sure you are presenting them with easy ways to choose the next step in the relationship:

• consuming your best content
• consuming different types of content
• subscribing via e-mail, mobile, or print
• further connecting with you: online, social, mobile, events
• helping them connect with others in a community
• responding to your content
• voting on your content
• sharing your content
• creating content
• changing, repackaging, and repurposing your content
• giving you opinions and/or ideas
• making a small first purchase
• making a small, specific donation

Relationships take time. And if you truly care about your connections, your Fans, your supporters, your audiences, your girlfriend, your wife – then you don’t start with the proposal. You don’t start with the ring. First, convince them you are worthy of their accepting it.

*This article clearly was directed toward men. Women already know all of this.

I’ve been meaning to recap my first South By Southwest Interactive experience ever since I got back. But work and life got in the way. So, a month and a half later, hopefully I’ve gained a little more perspective, now that the adrenaline rush has passed and I’ve had a chance to reflect on all aspects of the…conference? Festival? I’m not even sure what to call it.

If you went it without ADD, you certainly caught it there. If you went in with ADD, that condition spread to all your other senses. Session over here! Keynote over there! Check out the Empanada/taco/curry truck down the street! VIP party starting now! Come try our new game! Nice to meet you! Nice to meet you! Nice to meet you!

This was the biggest SXSW Interactive ever, with 15,000+ attending, and there were thousands more who were in town for the film and music portions of SXSW too.

I read up on SXSW as much as possible before I went, and I tried to apply the guidance offered. But it’s impossible to really know what the hell to do until you’ve been through it. There were a few nuggets that really helped though, like:

1. Tapping into the social site offered by SXSW, through which you can search for people by name, company, keywords, etc, to find, connect, and make introductions with particular people before you even head to SXSW. I contacted several folks and met a few of them at sessions (Tara Grumm from Microsoft and Jennifer Buxton from Real Posh Mom – a mutual friend in Seattle introduced us via Twitter during SXSW), over beers (Andy Pearson from Crispin Porter + Bogusky,  Eric Swayne from RockFish, and Tac Anderson from Waggener Edstrom), and sometimes just via email or Twitter (Shawn McPike from AT&T and Paull Young from Charity Water).

2. Bringing a power strip with me everywhere I went. I made a ton of quick friends by offering them a source to recharge their mobile phones at sessions, parties, and even just in hallways. People thought that was a brilliant idea. But like most great ideas, I got it from someone else. So thank you whoever wrote that in your blog. At SXSW, being on your phone is considered being social.

3. Planning out your agenda in advance, but planning to scrap that early and often. I ran into my pal Jay Baer, of ConvinceAndConvert, in the Austin Convention Center hallway in between sessions and he said “Dude, you’re coming to ‘The Now Revolution‘ Tacos & Tequila lunch party right? You blurbed for the book, you have to be there.” I don’t think I was even aware of it, but you bet I immediately cleared my schedule for that. And seeing Jay in his mini sombrero was priceless. By the way, the book is brilliant. Go buy it. Now.

At SXSW, new events are announced like popcorn, meet-and-greets and juicy conversations happen everywhere, and sometimes you just need a few minutes to breathe.

4. Hanging with a friend or two. It’s helpful to have a buddy who can attend other sessions you can’t make so you can share insights gleaned and work a room together. I was lucky to have two, Josh Feig, my counterpart at the Make-A-Wish Foundation International, and Freddie Yeti, whose grand adventures you can follow on his Yeti Tales blog.

5. Serving on a panel. I had the privilege of serving on the “Social Media for Social Good – how digital charity is changing our world” panel hosted by Blackbaud. That opportunity came to me, but it was a phenomenal opportunity to meet a bunch of people, including an all-star cast on the panel:

Frank Barry (Moderator) – Internet marketing & strategy at Blackbaud and the blog voice of NetWits ThinkTank.

Ramya Raghavan – Political and social change programming at YouTube.

Claire Diaz Ortiz – Social innovation and philanthropy at Twitter.

Charles Porch – Marketing related to public figures and nonprofits at Facebook.

Jake Furst – Business development at Foursquare.

Beverly Robertson – National director of the Pregnancy & Newborn Health Education Center at the March of Dimes.

And of course Freddie Yeti.

My attendance resulted in me being interviewed for two media pieces and one video blog segment. Following the panel session, Claire Diaz Ortiz and I were interviewed by an Austin NPR reporter for a “Social Media for the Social Good” piece. I also was interviewed for an AOL Daily Finance piece, “Where the Geeks Are: Dispatches From the Largest SXSW Interactive Ever.”

Then the panel moderator, Frank Barry, interviewed me for his blog.

The SXSWi sessions were hit-or-miss, but part of that was because I didn’t understand how best to pick them. I quickly learned that if a session’s title sounded like a good blog post title, it was probably a very broad, high-level session about general theory and principles, and that if I wanted to get some practical meat from a session, I was best served looking for titles about very narrowly focused subjects.

It took me days – maybe a week – to recover from all the walking, running, hailing cabs and cars, eating and drinking, thinking, and networking. And it was awesome. I can’t wait to go back next year, now that I know a thing or two about what I’m doing.

Finally, where else could you get someone like Guy Kawasaki to cradle your yeti?

Our power went out a little while ago, so the candles are lit. We and our next door neighbors are on a different power grid than the rest of the neighborhood and the other three houses still have power. We usually keep our house pretty cool at night and thankfully Ike is bringing down temps so we shouldn’t roast without air conditioning. It is a good reminder of those who live without air conditioning and electricity in hotter climates.

The wind gusts are probably in the 30-40 mph range, but still no rain. We’re thinking that we should get a couple hours rest, as Ike probably wpon’t let us rest long, if at all.

We expected to lose power, but hoped it wouldn’t happen this soon. And we hope it doesn’t remain out for long.

I’m blogging from my Blackberry, and need to turn it off to conserve its juice. Night night for now. Could be back soon.

I think that reporters at newspapers and TV stations across the country are disappearing into a wormhole or something. Four reporters at different media outlets expressed interest in the stories I pitched and even highlighted particular days that they were available. When I contacted them to confirm, I didn’t hear back. Now, after multiple follow up e-mails and calls, I’m hearing nothing.

I understand that people get busy. But I don’t really understand why they stop responding completely. So I assume they have been sucked into the nether regions of space and their cell phones don’t have intergalactic coverage.

Stephen Hawking, where could these folks have gone?

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The debate must have run over. My DVR stopped and the debate apparently ran over and i hadn’t set the system to record longer than the two hours.

In any case, I doubt this campaign is really going to change the Republican race. I didn’t think Giuliani had a great night, but he held up, which is good enough. Romney never quite got his footing, finding himself stammering and on the defensive several times. Huckabee continued his easygoing, friendly style and mixed it up a bit with Romney, which may help him a bit. McCain came out swinging against Paul and Romney. But I don’t think it was on any of the issues that are going to draw folks away from those candidates. And even if that happens, McCain likely won’t be the one to benefit. Paul will continue to get the Republican anti-war vote.

Can’t wait until the next debate.

Seriously, his hair is wicked awesome.